Books in Review: The 5 Apology Languages

When I first heard about this book, I was both excited and curious. I really enjoyed the concept of the 5 Love Languages, so I figured that this would also be a great concept. In the end, I was not disappointed. The idea of there being 5 types of apologies, and 5 ways to accept them is revolutionary when it comes to our relationships with others, no matter your age or phase of life you are in. Although I disagree with one of the chapters, I still believe this is a solid resource. I hope they adapt this book to include other phases of life like they did with the books about the love languages. I would recommend it to almost anyone ~ Bethel

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Apologizing is one of the hardest things we have to do. Whether it be for small offenses or life-altering mistakes, we all know how hard it is to apologize when we have done something wrong. Sometimes, it’s because we have a hard time admitting that we’ve done something wrong. Other times, we’re afraid that our apology won’t be accepted and the relationship will be stranded. Many of us have experienced the devastation of apologizing, only for that apology to fall on deaf ears and be ignored, even though you apologized the best way you know how. It makes us ask the question: what is the best to apologize to someone I’ve offended?

​In the book The Five Apology Languages, authors Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas help their readers understand the nature of apologies and forgiveness by breaking down what they call the “five languages of apology”. In a similar way that Gary Chapman explains the five languages of love in his best-selling book series, this author duo brings awareness to the fact that there are several different ways that someone apologizes. These five apology languages are expressing regret, accepting responsibility, making restitution, planned change, and requesting forgiveness. Through an engaging and easy-to-understand presentation, Chapman and Thomas help us see that understanding your apology languages as well as the apology languages of your loved ones will change the dynamic of practically every relationship in your life. Using many biblical principles, his exploration of apology and forgiveness is revolutionary and timely. Including a quiz to help you determine your apology languages as well as tools to help you determine your loved ones’ languages, this is a tool that everyone young and old needs to have at their disposal.

My only criticism of the book is the contents of chapter 11, in which the authors encourage the idea of self-forgiveness. I strongly disagree with this idea. This is because I believe that when a Christian is unable to forgive themselves, they are basically saying that they messed up so bad that they can’t accept Christ’s forgiveness. That is a lie that Satan desperately wants us to believe. Instead of addressing apologies to yourself, you need to address them to God and then fully believe that He has forgiven you. While spending a whole chapter talking about apologizing to yourself, they spend hardly any time discussing apologizing to God when we’ve sinned against Him. I understand that they presented this idea from the perspective of counselors, but to me, this idea is not grounded in good theology.

Aside from my disagreements about self-forgiveness, I still think this is a great book and would recommend it to practically anyone. Get your copy today!

* I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of this review

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Teen Rating. I think this book could have a lot of value for a teen and is written so that most of them could understand. I would recommend it for those 15 or older.

Single-Friendly Rating. The truths in this book apply to any adult, regardless of their season of life. While there are several relationships examples with marriage, they are all relatable and also include other examples from other seasons of life.

Personal Rating. Although I disagree with their presentation of self-forgiveness, I would still highly recommend this book.

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If you want to read my review of Gary Chapman's book, The 5 Love Languages (Singles Edition), click here

To read reviews of some other book on the topic of forgiveness, click here

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