Apologizing is one of the hardest things we have to do. Whether it be for small offenses or life-altering mistakes, we all know how hard it is to apologize when we have done something wrong. Sometimes, it’s because we have a hard time admitting that we’ve done something wrong. Other times, we’re afraid that our apology won’t be accepted and the relationship will be stranded. Many of us have experienced the devastation of apologizing, only for that apology to fall on deaf ears and be ignored, even though you apologized the best way you know how. It makes us ask the question: what is the best to apologize to someone I’ve offended?

​In the book The Five Apology Languages, authors Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas help their readers understand the nature of apologies and forgiveness by breaking down what they call the “five languages of apology”. In a similar way that Gary Chapman explains the five languages of love in his best-selling book series, this author duo brings awareness to the fact that there are several different ways that someone apologizes. These five apology languages are expressing regret, accepting responsibility, making restitution, planned change, and requesting forgiveness. Through an engaging and easy-to-understand presentation, Chapman and Thomas help us see that understanding your apology languages as well as the apology languages of your loved ones will change the dynamic of practically every relationship in your life. Using many biblical principles, his exploration of apology and forgiveness is revolutionary and timely. Including a quiz to help you determine your apology languages as well as tools to help you determine your loved ones’ languages, this is a tool that everyone young and old needs to have at their disposal.

My only criticism of the book is the contents of chapter 11, in which the authors encourage the idea of self-forgiveness. I strongly disagree with this idea. This is because I believe that when a Christian is unable to forgive themselves, they are basically saying that they messed up so bad that they can’t accept Christ’s forgiveness. That is a lie that Satan desperately wants us to believe. Instead of addressing apologies to yourself, you need to address them to God and then fully believe that He has forgiven you. While spending a whole chapter talking about apologizing to yourself, they spend hardly any time discussing apologizing to God when we’ve sinned against Him. I understand that they presented this idea from the perspective of counselors, but to me, this idea is not grounded in good theology.

Aside from my disagreements about self-forgiveness, I still think this is a great book and would recommend it to practically anyone. Get your copy today!

* I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of this review

If you want to read my review of Gary Chapman's book, The 5 Love Languages (Singles Edition), click here

To read reviews of some other book on the topic of forgiveness, click here

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​My mom had talked about Chapman’s original book about the five love languages since I was young. But it was only recently that I discovered that there was a version written specifically to single adults. When I found out about it, I was so excited to read it. When I finally got it, I couldn’t put it down. I finished it in two days. These concepts about love languages are something that every person needs to read. But I believe it’s especially significant to learn this in your singles years, because it will build into any future dating relationships and in marriage. I absolutely recommend this to any of my single friends, and for anyone that isn’t single, there is probably an edition of this book written for you. Do a little research and get it. You won’t regret it ~ Bethel

Love is expressed is many different ways, but these expressions don’t always mean the same thing to different people. Something that is meaningful to one person may not be to another. This can make it hard for us to figure out how to best express love. This doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships. This can make things difficult for all relationships: family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, roommates, and the list could go on. It’s so hard to know how to relate well to each other when we struggle to express love in a way that others can relate to. This can seem to be an especially hard struggle for single adults, especially those who haven’t ever been married. It makes us ask the question: how can I learn to love others better as a single adult?

​In his book, The 5 Love Languages (Singles Edition), Gary Chapman walks us through the five “languages” in which all human communicate love, and how singles can apply these love languages to all relationships in our lives. Some feel most loved through words of affirmation. Some feel and express love best through receiving or giving gifts. Some feel most loved through acts of service. Some feel loved through spending quality time with those they care about. And some feel and express love best through physical touch. Out of each of these languages, everyone has a primary love language in which makes them feel the most loved. But understanding and learning to communicate all five are important for us to find ways to love others more. Chapman walks through what these love languages look like lived out with parents and siblings, as well as those that may be looking toward romantic relationships in the future. He also talks about relating to roommates, classmates, and coworkers. He even walks through single parents loving their children better. All of this is presented in friendly and relevant writing style that anyone can understand.

​These truths about love languages are profound, especially in a day and age when we are quick to make things about ourselves. But this book is a great tool to help us reach out beyond our own love language into the other languages so that we can love others the way that Christ did. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is currently single, or anyone who wants to figure out how to relate to singles better. If you don’t fit into those categories, there is probably an edition of this book written for you. Get your copy today!

* I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of this review