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Purity. It’s made to feel like a dirty word in our culture, because it is something that our culture refuses to honor. And even those of us that try to honor it eventually come to realize that the impurity of the culture around us has seeped into our hearts and minds. We have a hard trying to wrap our minds around the topics of purity and sexuality in a God-honoring way, but we are afraid to ask the questions that will help us find answers and freedom. We are scared that we are the only one that has questions or struggles, so we clam up and are left in fear. It makes us ask the question: how can I learn the truth about God-defined sexuality?

​In their newest book, Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girls Heart, sisters Kristen Clark and Bethany Beal help us find the beauty and freedom that comes from choosing to pursue God-honoring sexuality. Helping us see that we all have experienced sexual brokenness and struggles with lust, they help us identify where our culture has steered us wrong by identifying four lies about our sexual design and challenging us to replace them with truths from God’s word about the way He designed our sexuality. They offer tools for combating temptations and the battles within your mind and take time to address many specific questions about “hush hush” topics and questions that they asked their readers during a survey. And finally, they help us see that God has help us walk the path of freedom from past and present struggles with our sexuality, helping all of us see that God can redeem anything in His time, including our sexuality, if we choose to walk in faith and surrender to Him. This book is much needed and powerful. It’s the kind of book I wished I had as a teenager. Kristen and Bethany are honest and relevant in their writing style, and have a genuine heart to help girls and women get back to the women God intended them to be. This is a book that I recommend to women and girls about 16 and older. Get your copy today!

*I received a copy of this book from the publisher as part of my involvement in the book's launch team and for the purpose of this review 

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To check out my review of Kristen and Bethany's first book, Girl Defined, click here
To check out my review of their second book, Love Defined, click here

The release of this book had me quite excited. Not only are the other books in this series excellent, but I know that if anyone knows how to connect with and relate to tween girls, it’s Dannah Gresh. This book is an incredible resource to parents and youth leaders that work with tween girls. And I believe this book to be a game changer. It will be amazing to see a group of girls grow up that will have the opportunity to read this book as tween, Lies Young Women Believe as teenagers, and Lies Women Believe as adults. Because the younger we are when we learn to replace lies with the truth, the stronger the next generation will become in standing up for the truth and therefore impacting their world with that truth and the love of Christ. Therefore, I cannot recommend this book or this whole series enough! ~ Bethel

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Lies. They are all around us. No matter where we go in our world today, we cannot escape them. And it seems that they are being fed to us at younger ages. Lies about who we are. Lies about who we should become. Lies about the people around us. It makes it hard for kids to grow up in a world where lies are being presented as truth with no way to figure out what truth really is. This seems especially true for girls, with the pressures to be beautiful, smart, and popular. If they are unable to learn the truth when they are kids, they will build their life on lies that will be so much harder to detangle when they are older. It makes us ask the question: how can we help girls today learn the truth that will set them free?

In her book, Lies Girls Believe, Dannah Gresh, along with help from editor Nancy Demoss Wolgemuth, walks through lies that tween girls struggle to believe and help them discover the truth that will set them free. In this colorful book with fun illustrations, these girls are given tools to help them figure out how to recognize lies and the “sticky feelings” of guilt that come when we buy into lies. After walking through the nature of lies and where they came from, Dannah addresses 20 lies that are believed by many tween girls (based on surveys of tween girls, and their moms and grandmas). She tells each truth and addresses the lie that is usually believed instead, helping them see that truth really is the better choice. Each of these chapters concludes with a “truth lab” where girls can “test” these truths in their lives. Dannah concludes by showing them ways to figure out other lies in their life so they can replace them with truth. All of this is done in a relatable writing style that will allow the girls to feel like Dannah is their friend and mentor they trust. They are plenty of opportunity to journal and use color pencils to make the book all the more relatable. This book is powerful and will be a game changer for the tween girls of this generation that choose to read it and take to heart what it says. I personally recommend this book for any tween girl between the age of 9-13 years old. Girls and their moms should get their copy today!
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Moms, make sure to check out A Mom’s Guide to Lies Girls Believe, written just to help you help your daughter on this journey.

* I received a copy of this book from the publisher for the purpose of this review

When I first heard they were updating this book as well as the teen counterpart, I was curious about it. But I originally only pursued reviewing Lies Young Women Believe (co-authored by Dannah Gresh). After some time and research, I was excited to discover that they now have a male counterpart (Lies Men Believe by Robert Wolgemuth) and are about to release a pre-teen counterpart too (Lies Girls Believe by Dannah Gresh). Since there are so many other books in the series and the topic is so close to my heart, I decided it was time to read the book that started it all. When I finally started reading it, I couldn’t put it down. Literally. I finished the 300 page book in one night. I found myself in love with Nancy’s sincerity and passion for helping women of all ages be freed from the lies that hold them back from the life God has in store for them. Although there are a few lies I struggle with myself, I also found that through many recent experiences, some of these lies that used to hold me back no longer have a hold in my life. That made reading this book a milestone in my spiritual journey. It has also helped me strengthen my ability to identify lies for what they are so they have be replaced with truth. I am now looking forward to reading more books by Nancy in the future, as well as other books in the series.

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In our culture today, we are constantly being fed lies. Lies about ourselves, lies about God, lies about identity and our relationships with others. These are just the beginning of a list that could fill a whole book in its own right. They cause us to live our lives apart from what God has in store for us in light of His truth. Although everyone regardless of age or gender deals with lies, some many of the lies prevalent in our society are directed at women both young and old. So many of the lies we believe can be as a result of deception from our own emotions or our struggles with shame. Either way, it makes us harder for those of us that are trying to lives our lives in light of the truth, when these lies make it difficult to distinguish the truth from the lies. It makes women ask the question: how can I identify and stand up under the lies that I am believing?

​In the updated version of the bestselling book, Lies Women Believe, Nancy Demoss Wolgemuth explores many of the lies that women believe so that they can discover the truth that sets from free. Identifying with the first woman to be deceived, Nancy encourages women to identity that the lies they have believed are holding them back from the life God has in store for them. After giving some methods for identifying the lies, Nancy walks through a total of 45 different lies believed by women based on surveys. Some of the lies are ones we wouldn’t necessarily say out loud, but have proven to be believed by many of our actions. She includes sections about lies we believe about God, ourselves, our sin, priorities, marriage, children, emotions, and circumstances. There is also a newly added chapter about sexuality that was written by Dannah Gresh (who co-authored Lies Young Women Believe with Nancy). Nancy discusses the root of these lies and with both love and conviction tells us the truth as it is laid out in God’s word. She doesn’t shy away from the difficulties of addressing these deep-seated lies but instead chooses to help the reader root them out in God’s grace so they can live in the freedom of the truth. At the conclusion, Nancy shares an incredible list of truth to combat the lies she addresses, including Scriptures to help you absorb the truth. I appreciate the honesty and integrity of Nancy to stand up for the truth in a society that struggles to distinguish truth from lies, as well as the heart she has for the women she helps. If you are women, either single or married, either young or old, this is a book worth reading. Get your copy today.

To check out my review of the teen version, Lies Young Women Believe, click here

​[If you haven’t read my previous post {Running Toward the Roar}, please do before reading this one. Thanks]

I couldn’t believe it. I had just gotten off the phone with the senior minister of Rise Church, a new church that just launched in October 2018. After having talked about possibly joining their ministry team, we both agreed that we would proceed with me starting in January on a volunteer basis for 3 months, since I would be launching the youth group from the ground up. If everything goes well, then I will formally join their staff for the remainder of the year and the church will help me raise support for my salary. ​I was (and still am) in shock. If a year ago you had told me that I would be offered a ministry position a year later, I probably would not have believed you. And if you had told me that this position would be in student ministry, I probably would have laughed. If you had told me just after my dad lost his job that I would be where I am today, I would have believed it was impossible. But as I look back, I have been amazed to see how far God has brought me over this last year. I believe all of the good things that have happened over this last year are a direct result of my decision to face the painful situations head on instead of hiding from them. So today, I want to share about more things that God has done in my life because I learned to “run toward the roar.”

​Needless to say, finishing out my ministry with Focus was bittersweet. I had poured so much of my life and my heart into those kids. I faced one of the most difficult meetings of my life because I cared about them so much. My partnership with Todd had been life-changing. But I still knew it was time to begin the process of moving on. They gave me a wonderful send-off my last Sunday with many heartfelt thank you’s from students, parents, and from Todd. Then, we had a lock-in as my last event. Just like that, it all was over and I was left with all my emotions and all my dreams without knowing how to pursue them. This made the summer a long and difficult season emotionally. I was unsure of what I would do for move toward my youth ministry career, or where I should even go to church. The only normal thing I had during this period was my part time retail job. I applied for a few ministry jobs and a few residency programs, but to no avail. It was hard to know where to go next.

But then I remembered I was interested in trying out Parkview Christian Church. Since Parkview originated from the church where my dad grew up, I was generally familiar with it. But it was big. Really big. Like multiple campuses big. It was the type or size of church I was ever used to. But I remember thinking that this kind of church with a thriving youth ministry was a great place to build up my resume and gain valuable experience. After making a few contacts, I was directed to the student campus pastor at the campus closest to my hometown. When I told Aaron my story, he said that he not only wanted me on his team, but he also thought I could be a fit for Parkview’s residency program. So I joined JHM (Junior High Ministry) as a 6th grade girls small group leader.

​Jumping into JHM was a lot, considering where I’ve come from. Going from a youth group of a dozen kids with Jr/Sr High students combined to a youth group of 100 Jr. High students with a small group of 12 girls, was a big leap. But it was a fun environment to learn about youth ministry. We had a few special events that I enjoyed helping with, including the Fall Retreat at a camp in Michigan. But all the while, I had my hopes set on getting this residency at Parkview. I finally got my interview scheduled in November and I was so excited.  When I got a polite no a week later, I was devastated. I had a hard time understanding why God led me to Parkview if it wasn’t going to lead to a ministry opportunity. I also felt that this meant God was closing the door on my time at Parkview. It was difficult for me to figure out where to go next.

​But then, I remembered a conversation I previously had with Matt from Rise Church. This church had originally approached my dad about being involved in their launch. My dad politely declined. But we had some friends that joined the launch team and invited us to a pre-launch event. During this event, I met Matt and he asked me about what I was doing work and ministry wise. I explained how I got involved with Parkview and was hoping to get into their residency program. Matt told me that if that didn’t work out to let him know. He said there might be able to work out a residency for me at Rise. I didn’t think too much of it at first since I had my sights set on Parkview. But when I finally got a no, I thought it would be good to at least discuss what this opportunity at Rise would look like. When we finally sat down to talk about it, I learned that they really wanted me to come onto the team to launch the youth group from the ground up, with only a few kids. I was so excited. {Note: please read the addition at the end of this post}

However, I also recognize that my time at Parkview was not a waste. It’s true that the environment was bigger and more mainstreamed than I was used to, but I did learn a lot of good things from my involvement in that ministry. It was awesome to observe how important it is to have a solid volunteer base in a ministry that large, which Aaron definitely has. I also loved serving with a large group of people that all had a heart for Jr. High students. Sometimes, the bigger ministry had more strict rules that restricted the type of relational youth ministry I was used to. It was a struggle for me to build deeper relationships with my small group girls at times because of those restrictions, even though I did understand why they were necessary in a ministry of this size. But other times, this ministry allowed for opportunity for greater experiences, like the Paint Wars Fall Kick-Off or Fall Retreat. Through it all, I’ve observed things I want to do in my ministry and things I don’t want to do, which is something that any minister or devoted volunteer should be striving for. I am grateful for my time at Parkview and all the friends I made there, but I now see that my involvement in that ministry was only ever meant to be a stepping stone or a check point along my greater ministry journey. God had something else in mind for me, but I am glad that I followed His leading to Parkview for a season. The  experiences I had there will hopefully shape the youth minister I will become.

​My struggles with the numbers on the scale has been a source of insecurity for me, as is true for many young women. Even with weight loss, I struggle with feeling like talking about it is a form of vanity. I also spent much of my adult life struggling with how overweight I was. But in this case, I feel that it’s important share this story to illustrate the journey that God has led me on. There have been many stressful seasons of my life when food was one of my only escapes, but God helped me to change that through everything I've faced this year. In March, I had a molar become sensitive. Since I am on Medicaid, I went to the closest dentist that took my card. He told me that I had several cavities and that he could fill some of them, but said that it probably wouldn’t fix the pain and that I just had sensitivity problems and needed to switch toothpaste. After doing a poor job on my fillings, I canceled my second appointment. Toward the end of April, I got an intestinal bug that lasted 5 days. Two weeks later, the sensitivity came back in the exact same tooth. I knew that if I went back, they would just tell me the exact same things they did last time, so I tried every trick in the book to make it go away. But in the end, I knew I just I had to give it time to heal. This ended up limiting my diet for several months.

Meanwhile, I had a couple of people ask me if I had lost weight. At first, I didn’t realize I had and didn’t think too much of it. But when I finally stepped on the scale around the end of March, I had lost 15lbs. By May, it was 25lbs. By July, it was 50lbs. By the end of September, it was total of 60lbs I’d lost in 6 months! Both sets of photos here were taken about a year apart from each other. Back then, I honestly struggled with believing that I was not capable of the losing the weight I needed in order to be healthier. Now I believe that God used the difficult circumstances of my life to help prepare me physically for the ministry opportunities ahead of me. Food was too important to me and I needed to learn how to trust God through the difficult circumstances of my life rather than eat my way out of them. That's a hard thing to admit, but I am grateful to recognize that that what it is now. There are days when it’s hard for me to look at these pictures and look at the toll my eating habits were taking on my body. But in those moment, I’ve learn to remind myself that my value should never be determined by anything I can do to myself or for myself. My value was defined at the foot of the cross, no matter what the numbers on the scale tell me. The same is true for you too.

​At the beginning of 2018, I rebranded my blog and my YouTube and was so excited for all the things I wanted to do for the year. I reviewed 4 books in January alone. But when my dad lost his job at the end of January, I thought it would be so hard to motivate myself to continue to pursue my hobbies of writing and video making. I did eventually make the choice to take a break from YouTube for a while. But I also decided that I wouldn’t give up on my reviews. I originally set the goal of writing 25 book reviews (which would have averaged 2 reviews a month) and at least 2 non-review posts before the end of the year. The final total was 18 reviews and this post makes 3 non-review posts. It’s true that I didn’t fully meet my goal. But considering everything I faced over the course of this year, I know that what I did finish was a significant accomplishment. I did break my previous record of 13 reviews in a year, I now have a total of 40 published book reviews on my blog, and I did succeed at writing more lengthy posts than I have in a few years. In that way, I don’t consider it a loss. It just helps me set the bar higher for next year. Just because we face difficult circumstances doesn’t mean we have to give up on our goals. I hope you don’t.

​Consistent fellowship has been a difficult thing to cultivate in this season of my life. Especially during the summer when I was struggling with what church to attend. Many of my friends in the area were busy during the summer and I didn’t have much of a chance to see them. This has been such an important reminder of how important fellowship and community is to the Christian life. But through this season, I continue to learn and grow through my friendship with Todd. Our friendship didn’t stop once our ministry partnership ended. If anything, it’s gotten stronger. It’s true that it’s hard for us to find time to see each other considering the nature of his work schedule. But the phone and text conversations have continued on a pretty consistent basis. Especially as I was pursuing my calling into youth ministry, Todd was the one that helped me stay on track, even when I wanted to give up. He shared my joy when it looked like doors opened and he shared my pain when it “didn’t work out like we hoped”. His continuous efforts to make time for me with his limited schedule continues to demonstrate how much he cares about me and my well-being. And as he’s gone above and beyond to be there for me, I’ve found that I want be there for him when he had needed it. His heart of kindness and compassion towards me has also changed my heart toward him. This dynamic in our friendship has actually opened my eyes to a truth from one of my favorite verses of the Bible. 

​Romans 12:10 (NIV84) says “Be devoted to one another in brother love. Honor one another above yourselves.” In truth, “Be devoted” is kind of a weak translation. There are two different Greek words for love in this verse: phila and storgos. Phila is brotherly love and storgos is affection. What’s really interesting about this verse is that this is the only place in the Bible that these two words are made into a compound word, philastorgos, which conveys the idea of brotherly affection. A better translation of this verse would be “Have brotherly affection for one another in brotherly love. Outdo one another in showing honor to each other.” (My paraphrase) This paints a picture of what a friendship founded in Christ is supposed to look like, iron sharping iron by showing love and honor to each other that builds on itself. This love and honor transcends the differences between us, like the 20-year age gap, our genders, or our opposite personalities. In fact, it helps bridge those gaps to make our fellowship all the more genuine. And that’s the way it was meant to be. I’ve always loved the point that this verse made, but had never experienced it in this way until Todd and I became close. I now believe that this verse epitomizes our friendship. I now know that my understanding of these truths will play into all other friendships and relationships I have in the future. I hope it does for you too.

I serve a God who makes something more beautiful out of the broken pieces than the whole ones. Although they are still uncertainties about the future, I can’t believe how far God has brought me over this last year. This has made me think of a song from one of my favorite film musicals, The Greatest Showman. The song From Now On is one of my favorites, but my favorite part of the song is sung so low, it’s almost hard to hear:

I saw the sun behind to dim and felt the winter wind blow cold
A man learns who is there for him when the glitter fades and the walls won’t hold
From that rumble what remains can only be what’s true
If all was lost, there’s more I gained, ‘cause it led me back to you

The more I think about it, the more I find myself identifying with Hugh Jackman’s character. In this moment, he realized he’d lost his focus on what was important, and he needed to reprioritize his life, focusing first on his immediate family and then on his circus family. But it took him basically losing everything for him to realize what he already had. In other words, he had lose everything in order to gain back what was more important. This has been so true of my own life. Not only did I gain a renewed ministry focus that resulted in an awesome ministry opportunity, but it helped me come back to a friendship I already had, but didn’t realize I needed and has now changed my life by helping me heal and maturing me into the woman God wants me to be. If I had to lose everything in order to gain those things, then it was worth it. I believe that this is one of many reasons that we all need to learn what it means to “run toward the roar.” It can be one of many ways that God will redeem our broken story.

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01/12/19

When I was first offered this opportunity with Rise Church, I was so excited and thought this opportunity was tailor-made for me. But I didn't realize what would be necessary for a church that young to launch a youth ministry. After a few difficult discussions, it became clear that the timing for myself and for Rise wasn't right for a youth group launch. I now realize that I would not be able to keep up with the ministry commitments necessary to launch a ministry while trying to find the sustainable employment necessary to make it work financially. I am still grateful that Matt was willing to invest in me, but it became clear that the time and place were just not right for any of us. So I officially had to tell Matt that I would be passing on this opportunity.

Walking away from this opportunity has been hard, but I have already grown from it. I know that if I am walking forward in faith, the Lord will provide what I need, both for my employment and for my ministry needs. I also believe that walking away from this opportunity doesn't change the fact that by only 10 months after this life-changing event, I already had an interview for one ministry position that I didn't get (the residency with Parkview) and an offer from another church that I had to decline (Rise Church). I still consider both of these events to be indicators of how far God has brought me over this last year. If God brought this opportunities to the light, He will bring others, as long as I continue to "run toward the roar." If you want to see how He does, please consider signing up to be a prayer partner below.

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Are you interested in supporting me on my ministry journey? Then consider joining my list of prayer partners. Sign up to receive emails and/or to join the Facebook group

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​No matter where we go in this life, we are more than sure to be met with disappointments. That’s part of living in this world. Some of these disappointments are minor, while many of them are earth-shattering, causing so much pain and suffering in their wake. All too many of us find ourselves crippled by our circumstances, especially when difficulties hit us unexpectedly. So many of us get to the point of questioning God’s goodness or desiring to turn our backs on Him. This can make us feel trapped like there’s no way out. It makes us ask the question: how can I handle the major disappointments I am sure to face in this life?

​In her newest book, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way, Lysa Terkeurst walks us through how we can turn to the Lord to find strength and courage when life throws unexpected disappointments at us. This topic is very relevant to Lysa, who in only a few years’ time has dealt with marital strife and two major health issues than inevitably required surgery. With her own fair share of hardships, Lysa admits that facing these disappointments is hard, and sometimes feels impossible to overcome. But she directs us to the Lord and His Word to helps us find strength to keep moving forward, even if we don’t have all the answers or when it we are actually given more than we can handle. She also reminds us how important it is for us to remain alert to the tactics of the one that wants to use our disappointments to keep us apart from God. This is all pointing to the reality that God is using our trials to prepare us from strength in this life and eternal peace in the next. This book is powerful, relevant, and honest. Although written out of her own personal experience, this book felt like it was written for me and my current struggles, which speaks to the talent of the author to relate to her audience. If you are going through trials or disappointments in your own life, I cannot recommend this book enough. It is the perfect companion to her last book, Uninvited. This book is available as of November 13. Get your copy today!

To read my review of Lysa's last book, Uninvited, click here
To read more about the circumstances that made this book so personal relevant, click here